Awareness
There is a peculiar kind of frustration on the face of one who would tell you what to do and ease your life. She is responding to your plaintive cry. However, you resist her, keeping your back crooked, when she reminds you it's easy to sit up straight. Finally she sees that words are ineffective and holds her mouth closed, fighting with herself to exercise forbearance. For your part, you are likely to conclude the conversation with a feeling that something is wrong. You might be angry at the one who tries to help, because, of course they don't understand. They imagine it's simple to do a thing. You however, cannot do a thing until your reason militates that it be done.
It is only understanding that allows you to act with vigor. And the conversation brought no increase in understanding. So there you must sit with back bent. Your salvation did not come this day.
One simply can't tell another what to do. The helper must be content to work on the roof of the structure. To create holes through which a larger outer world might be glimpsed. And there is hope of this. The glimpse won't come in the conversation. One only looks around when one feels free and alone. Later, walking, a thought occurs to you, and it brings a hint of sea air, of something new. Excited, you begin to orient yourself around that thought -- it could be that you had it all backwards! Walking home, you become adjusted to this new clothing, and you feel joy that was forgotten.
When next you speak to the would-be helper, you sound like her in 8 out of 10 particulars. It doesn't occur to you to give her credit for anything, because it was you who noticed the new vista, and you who climbed with some labor and joy of discovery into it.
She should be happy. Her reward is not in your praise. It is in seeing a man with bent back stand up straight. And now you go forth, clutching a discovery, which saved you. Now you see the bent backs of your friends, your family. It is so simple! Why can't they see?