No more writing about yoga

Published on 2023-01-28 by Michael Stanton

It's been hard for me to understand why I should stop writing about this. But I might be starting to get it.

I keep having epiphanies in meditation. And then I scramble to my desk to write them down. I'm somehow thinking that the world is interested in this. Why? I apparently can't tell where I end and the world begins. I imagine that everybody must be feeling what I'm feeling. And that my hastily scribbled thoughts will be useful to them.

This self is a kind of program with a bug in it. How can I convince the program in terms that it understands to let go of this activity. I'm suspecting that the activity is a compensation mechanism which actually has the effect of keeping state at a local maximum. If the compensation is no longer performed, the system may attain a new state.

Terms that the program might understand:

No one cares -- really! Not because they are fools, but because your vision of the good is intensely personal. You have this north star called "enlightenment." Others have something similar, but it's far more likely that your words are in the way of their vision rather than aiding them. They might squint at your words a bit and then say "no that's that it at all." So you're adding to the debries of the world (and with ChatGPT, the world is bracing for a DELUGE of inane words already).
Even worse, someone may care. Suppose someone appears and says "WOW YOU HAVE IT! Thank you for finding truth!" Uh oh. What do I write next? I might disappoint them. I might try to delight them (and what about my own actual journey at this point?), and face the catastrophe of really letting them down with some acute angle in my thought they didn't expect to see. If someone cared, I'd be worse off.
Your efforts are tolerated. This is the sad truth of things. I find my epiphanies so important, so interesting...but the ones who actually love me are just swerving their cars slightly to avoid having to tell me that it is rude to litter the highway with debries.

Are those enough reasons to quit writing about this? If spiritual authorities who insist on silence don't convince you, maybe those dashes of cold water above will.

Haha...and so...I grandly announce to a breathless world: I now cease from writing about spirit, about yoga about meditation about Jesus about consciousness about...(you know, the thing).

Hiking, music, stuff like that. Those are cool things, and I'll want to remember certain things about them, so I'll do that.